


better than they ever were before

by juliemolina



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, bi pope, gay jj, kie is a good friend, pope has a gay awakening basically, pope is oblivious, rewrite of the hug scene in midsummers, unbeta’d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24209263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliemolina/pseuds/juliemolina
Summary: He’s certainly not JJ, wild and unpredictable, emotions constantly spinning out of control.But then again, Pope thinks, no one is JJ. No one else would have fired off a gun to save John B. No one else would have sacrificed everything for Pope.Some nights Pope lies awake and pictures the curve of JJ’s jaw, his tanned arms, thinks about the way he feels like he’s achieved something great whenever he can make JJ laugh.But it’s not a crush. He’s almost certain it isn’t a crush.*rewrite of the hug scene in midsummers and the events leading up to and following it, answering the question “what would happen if pope had kissed jj instead of hugging him?”
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 302





	better than they ever were before

**Author's Note:**

> last week i wrote an anon ask on tumblr about what would happen if pope had kissed jj instead of hugging him. today i decided to sit down and write it.  
> my tumblr is @kiaracameron if you wanna come rant ab obx w me

Pope has always known who he is. 

Ever since he was young, he’s had his life set in stone; study hard, get a scholarship, go to college, be something  _ more _ .

That’s the hardest part, Pope thinks. Not having to live up to something, but having to be better.  _Don’t turn out like me,_ his dad warns him when Pope helps him at work.  _Don’t turn this into your life._

And for the most part, he’s good at keeping himself in line. He makes schedules for studying and delivering groceries, even if this is often interrupted by the Pogues pulling him from one adventure to the next. He tries, anyway, and he thinks that’s enough. He hopes it is.

He’s not John B, always chasing after something, whether it’s girls or treasure or answers he won’t find.

He’s certainly not JJ, wild and unpredictable, emotions constantly spinning out of control.

But then again, Pope thinks, no one is JJ. No one else would have fired off a gun to save John B. No one else would have sacrificed everything for Pope.

Some nights Pope lies awake and pictures the curve of JJ’s jaw, his tanned arms, thinks about the way he feels like he’s achieved something great whenever he can make JJ laugh.

But it’s not a crush. He’s almost certain it isn’t a crush.

Besides. He’s in love with Kiara. That’s another thing he knows about himself. He knows, because he doesn’t see why he wouldn’t be in love with her. They make sense together, and Pope is a scientific person. The best things always make sense. 

He knows he’s in love with her, because it feels nice when she hugs him, and she makes him laugh, and he just feels safe around her.

JJ is the opposite of safe. Around JJ, Pope feels on edge, nervous, as if his skin is crawling with ants. He dreams about JJ, JJ’s eyes in the sun, JJ’s chest slick with water. Sometimes he dreams about kissing him, and wakes up hot and sweaty and blushing.

But no. He decidedly does not have feelings for JJ.

But ever since he took the blame for Pope and got hauled away by the cops, Pope hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him. There’s this nagging voice in the back of his head.  _All your fault_ . When he closes his eyes he sees JJ getting shoved into the police car, and anger and regret and something else he’s too afraid to name boil below his ribcage. 

Midsummers is a good distraction. He runs the grill with his dad, lets the smoke and the sound of Kooks chatting drown out the noise in his head. And Kiara is there. Pretty, funny Kiara with soft skin and big brown eyes.

They laugh and chat, and things almost feel normal for a moment. And when she leaves, he still isn’t thinking about JJ. He feels content, unbothered, for the first time in a long time. 

It’s later, when he’s shucking oysters and nodding his head along to the music, that he glances up and his heart drops to his gut.

It’s JJ, in a bartenders uniform, hair a mess, the side of his face battered and bruised. Pope wonders if he’s dreaming, but no. It’s him, really him, and Pope feels so angry he can’t move. Not at JJ, but at whoever’s done this to him. And at himself for letting it happen.

He can place the burning feeling now; it’s the same way he feels whenever JJ teases him, or smiles at him and pulls him into a hug.

It dawns on him like a punch to the stomach that the way he feels about JJ is how he felt about the sort-of girlfriend he had the summer after freshman year. Or the friend he had in eight grade, Simon, who he always felt nervous around for no reason at all. The word ‘love’ comes to mind, finally something to describe the tingling in his skin. He looks at JJ, beautiful and smirking and  _safe_ , and suddenly he can’t think. He lets his hands fall, vaguely registers an oyster clattering to the floor and his father calling after him, but he can’t stop himself. He’s moving on autopilot now, half walking, half running until he reaches JJ. 

He grabs JJ’s arm, who whips his head around in alarm, and drags him off to the side, one hand on JJ’s chest.

“Dude,” JJ exhales, “don’t sneak up on me like that right n-“

Pope kisses him. He doesn’t think, just places both gloved hands around JJ’s face and presses their lips together.

He can feel JJ begin to soften into it, start to kiss back, and everything falls into place.

But then JJ suddenly goes rigid and pulls away, and all the happiness, all the lovebubbling up inside of Popes chest dissipates.

“What,” JJ laughs, a little panicked, “was that?”

JJ’s glancing around the crowd, as if to see if anyone’s noticed, but Kiara is nowhere in sight and everyone else is too preoccupied by their drink, their date, the music.

Pope is realizing now he’s gotten everything wrong. Every time JJ put his hand on Popes arm, or made eye contact and quickly looked away, it didn’t mean anything at all.

And now Popes gone and messed everything up, and he can’t even figure himself out, let alone JJ.

Pope shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. You don’t like-and I-“

He isn’t sure when his rambling stops and when JJ starts kissing him again, but now JJ’s hand is cupping his neck, and Pope has never felt more alive. 

He’s breathless when he pulls away, runs one hand through JJ’s mess of hair, and yes. This is much better than dreaming.

JJ looks a little astonished, and he presses a thin hand to his lips, as if he can still feel the indent of Pope’s mouth there.

“I like you,” JJ offers, “in case you didn’t get that.”

Pope is studying JJ’s face, trying to take in every detail now that’s he’s finally allowed to look at him, out in the open. He’s got freckles scattered over the bridge of his nose that Pope has never noticed before, and Pope wants to spend forever trying to count them.

“I like you too. I, um...I think I have for a while. I was just confused. And oblivious.”

JJ is fiddling with one of the buttons on Popes apron. “Yeah,” he laughs “yeah, you were.”

Then Pope curses under his breath. “Shit. I forgot about my dad.”

JJ is noticeably crestfallen, but he nods. “It’s okay. I get it. You have a job to do.”

Then JJ leans in and leaves one soft kiss just beneath his jaw, and Pope feels like he’s floating all the way back to the grill.

When he reaches it, his dad is eyeing him with an odd combination of annoyance and affection.

“Sorry.” Pope winces when the words sound insincere. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. But I’m back, and I can help now.”

His dad looks from Pope to JJ, sucks in a breath, and then says, out of nowhere, “You’re the one who sunk the boat, aren’t you?”

Pope frowns, taken aback. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just tell me the truth. You did it, and JJ covered for you. Am I right?”

Pope itches the palm of one hand. “I...Look. I regret doing it, and I’m really, really sorry. I’m trying to do better.” His dad is still looking at him, one eyebrow raised, so he barrels on. “But it’s not fair that those guys treat me like shit just because I have less money, or I look different than them. And it’s not fair of you to expect me to be this perfect person. I’m sixteen, dad. I can’t always do everything right.”

His dad sighs very heavily, and Pope wonders if he’s always had those lines around his eyes. “No, I’m sorry too. I know I put too much pressure on you. I just want you to have a better life than I did.”

He looks thoughtful, his expression distant, but then it clears once more.

“That doesn’t mean I’m not going to ground you for a month, though.”

Pope nods. “I know, I know. I deserve it. And don’t worry, I’ll get right back to shucking oysters.”

“No,” he says after a moment.

“What?”

His dad runs a hand down his tired face, but when he moves it away, he’s smiling, if a bit sadly. “I think I can handle it over here. You have somewhere else you need to be.”

He gestures to JJ, and Popes face heats. “Oh. Thank you.”

Pope pulls off his gloves, gives his dad a smile and hopes it encompasses everything he wants to say. His dad merely waves Pope forward with his spatula and turns away again.

JJ raises his eyebrows when Pope reappears. “Back so soon?”

Pope chuckles. “Who knew my dad was a romantic.”

JJ pauses, and then blurts, “Dance with me.”

Pope glances around them. “Right now?”

JJ laces his hands behind Pope’s neck. “Why not?”

Pope feels awkward, like he doesn’t know where to put his hands. But JJ holds him, and they move to the music just slightly. 

“What’s with the outfit?” Pope asks. “Actually, why are you here? I’m glad you are, obviously, but I’m guessing you didn’t come just to see me.”

JJ looks down, like he’s forgotten he’s wearing it. “Oh. There’s just this thing I have to do. Someone I have to talk to. It can wait, though.”

JJ meets Pope’s eyes and then says, a little more quietly, “Everything can wait.”

Pope doesn’t press further, just brushes one hand over the side of JJ’sface, and frowns when JJ winces.

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly. “Did Shoupe do that?”

“Oh this? No. This is-it’s my dad. You know? Has that right jab. Can really snap it off at times.

Pope chews his lip. “That looks like more than a jab, JJ.”

And then, because he’s wanted to offer for so long, practically ever since he met JJ, he adds, “You could always come stay with me.”

JJ shakes his head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

Pope releases JJ as the song shifts into something more upbeat. “JJ, you gave up everything for me. You got beat up, went to jail, and now owe thirty thousand dollars because of me. And I’m-“

Pope can feel unwelcome tears welling up behind his eyes, but he pushes forward. “I’m so fucking sorry. Just-just let me do this for you.”

JJ looks uncertain, like he doesn’t think he deserves good things. The thought makes Popes heart ache.

“Okay,” he relents, and holds Pope a little closer. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

***************

Later, when Midsummers is finally winding down, Pope kicks off his shoes and lets Kie take him by the arm and drag him down to the beach.

They sit, damp sand sticking to their bare feet, and Kie props her chin up on her hands.

“Tell me everything.” 

Pope looks out over the water, watches the reflection of the moon bob over the waves.

“What do you mean?” He asks, tucking his legs up underneath him, even though he knows exactly what she’s referring to.

She shoves at his shoulder. “You and JJ. Dancing?  _Kissing?_ ”

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah, that. What’s going on? Are you guys together?”

It occurs to Pope that they haven’t exactly decided what they are yet, and a bout of nerves rise in his stomach.

“Maybe? I mean, we like each other.”

Kie snorts. “Yeah, that was abundantly clear.”

“No, I just-“ he inhales sharply. “I really, really like him Kie.”

“I know,” is all she says, and loops their arms together, leans her head against his shoulder as they sit in silence and watch the waves crash against the sand. And Pope knows now more than ever that he does love her, just not in the way he had thought. 

And things don’t make sense, not exactly, but maybe they never will, and maybe it’s better that way. Maybe things are better than they ever were before.

**Author's Note:**

> i like to imagine that the whole time jj and pope are confessing their love to each other john b is just hiding and wondering where sarah is. jj rlly said sorry jb popes more important. also idrk what that smokey thing was that pope was working at so i j called it a grill. feel free to correct me.


End file.
